1. Tattoo coming up the pants - if your tattoo is coming up your pants it may be time to lay off the acid.
2. Wee my pants - You had a baby recently, didn't you?
3. Nicknames that start with the letter P - If you are googling potential nicknames, then you probably aren't cool enough to have a nickname in the first place. Go back to your mom's basement and play world of warcraft.
4. Sassy pants doggie diaper - Paris Hilton, is that you?
5. Sassy pregnant smoker - There is nothing "sassy" about a pregnant smoker. Replace the word sassy with the word selfish, or self-centered.
6. Southern sassy pants - I guess that would have been me before I became a mom.
7. SPM tattoo - OMG, someone out there loves me sooo much that they want to get a tattoo honoring me? Or perhaps they were talking about another SPM? Like say, the rapper South Park Mexican:
8. Cuss word grandma kitchen spongebob - You obviously read my blog.
9. Grandma pants 2009 - I'm guessing they probably look something like this, but with more elastic:
10. Hurting with a dog knot - Put the vodka and the dog down.
11. Meaning of sassy pants - It means I am a sweet southern belle, but I also don't take shit from anyone, and will happily put you in your place if you are being rude and/or condescending to me. I developed this trait from working in corporate america.
12. Mommy pants slang - Hmmm, I'm not sure if I have my own slang. I say stuff like buggy, wash rag, and washing powder. BD still makes fun of me about that. And he still laughs every.damn.time I say "can you cut the light off?"
13. Slim fast and lean cuisine diet - I don't recommend it. You'll just end up pissed off and still fat.
14. Dirty mommy cartoons - Wrong on so many levels.
15. Grandma got a tattoo - Yes she did.
16. Bow and arrow husband texas - I don't even know how to use a bow and arrow. Do you hear that cops-that-may-interrogate-me-someday?
17. Cartoon kids in big boy pants - I'm pretty sure most cartoon characters wear big boy pants and not diapers. You may want to try a different potty training method. "A" for effort though.