We recently took the kids to Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine, TX. It was a super fun time for all. Being on the road for 4 hours with two little ones, plus moi, equals a texas sized headache for big daddy!
Here are a few nuggets of conversations from that little trip...
Me - "I really have to pee"
BD - "then perhaps you should stop inhaling the pinot"
Me - "I'm on vacation. Plus you really need to stop, you know I have a weak bladder!! **nods head conspiratorily toward the back seat and whispers** Just look how big their heads are! They did a lot of damage I'm telling you!"
BD - "You're gonna have to use the cup"
Me - *GASP* "This is my WINE CUP. It would be seriously trashy to drink straight from the bottle. We're not in college anymore!"
Him - "..." (probably wondering why he married me in the first place)
Later that evening....
I had just done the mom thing and cleaned the kids faces and hands with my handy dandy econo pack of wet wipes before we ate our super yummy DQ fast food. Blech.
Him - "what's that smell?"
Me - "I just cleaned the kids faces and hands"
Him - "with what, a gallon of clorox?"
Me - *checking package* "No, they're wet wi.....MOTHERFUCKER! This is an econo pack of CLOROX WIPES!!"
Him - "maybe you should've stopped at 4 glasses of wine"
Me - "maybe you should shut the fuck up and eat your damn hunger buster!"
I fail at parenting.