Tuesday, December 30, 2008
This is what I opened with frantic anticipation from BD. No, I'm not kidding. He probably wishes I were kidding right about now though. That's the last time he will give me anything in a box that says "as seen on TV".
Ahhh, but my mother in law's gifts make up for it....
Ahh, now I bring you to Kota the Triceratops. What.the.fuck. This big ass dinosaur is now sitting in the middle of my living room. And if you walk by it, it kind of growls at you. Like it's cat calling me. Like I really needed another pervert living at my house.
*(I was drinking mimosa's too, what about it?)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Injected fertility drugs into my belly for 14 days straight (I may blog about it later...I haven't yet because I really try not to depress my readers!)
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't make any on purpose last year...this year is to quit smoking!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No one close to me. I need some new babies!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My sweet grandmother
5. What countries did you visit?
Yeah, like I have the money to visit other countries
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A new addition to the family
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 1 - the day my gma passed away
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting accepted into nursing school. That shit is hard yo.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not sticking to my workouts and diet
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Kidney stones 4 times. OMG. DAMN ALL THE KIDNEY STONES!!!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
We bought BD's new truck this year and I love it!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
BB's....he is finally potty trained. Hallelujah!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage and pre-school
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I'm gonna go with getting into nursing school again. Took me two years!
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Whatever You Like" - I have very small ghetto side.
17. Compared to this time last year, you are:
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my in-laws, BD and BB
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I was already in love :)
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Gray's Anatomy hands down
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope, no time for hate in my life
24. What was the best book you read?
"Are you there Vodka? It's me, Chelsea" - by Chelsea Handler
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Jack Johnson - I could listen to him all day
26. What did you want and get?
I wanted to get into nursing school.
27. What did you want and not get?
A sibling for BB
28. What was your favorite film that you saw this year?
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I honestly have no idea what I did on my bday this year. 28
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If my ovaries weren't so fucking retarded
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
I have zero fashion concept. If you ever see me looking fashionable, BFF probably dressed me
32. What kept you sane?
BFF for sure
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I am absolutely fascinated with Angelina Jolie and her 17 kids
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
"Re-distribution of wealth"
35. Who did you miss?
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Susan and Shellie in nursing school.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Everything happens for a reason. I know it sounds very cliche', but it is very true.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
You got me?!
BD was in the shower, singing christmas songs at the top of his lungs.
"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose...."
"Rudolph with your nose so bright won't you drive my sleigh tonight"
Then in the best Joe Pesci voice he can muster:
"Pull your own fucking sleigh santa! Suck my red nose!"
I look through the shower door in bewilderment and tilt my head to the side.
He said, "that was the mafia version."
Oh, right, the mafia version. Duh.
And then after he got out of the shower he smelled my armpits because I couldn't remember if I put on deodorant. We're weird.
Monday, December 22, 2008
1. We had Christmas with my parents and grandparents this weekend. It was awesome. I love hanging out with my family and always come back with good stories. Stories that some how involved alcohol. See you guys, if I didn't come from a family of alcoholics, I would have nothing to blog about. Then what would you do all day? You're welcome.
Last time we were in town over Thanksgiving break, my dad got really drunk, which is totally normal. My parents have an L shaped countertop in their kitchen, and BD and I were sitting on barstools eating dinner there. Dad came in from outside, lost his balance, and was walking the perimeter of the counter. The only thing holding his ass up was the counter because he was walking at an angle. Can you guess what happened next? Yeah, he ran out of counter. He was still walking with his gangsta lean and when he ran out of the support of a countertop, he fell flat on his face. Good times. BD and I never missed a beat, we just kept eating like this was a completely normal scenario. I think I managed to mutter a "you okay dad?" between the laughter. If I don't laugh I'll cry people!
2. After much cajoling I've convinced BFF to start a blog because her life is just as, if not more, funny than mine. Go check her out here. Single mom of a five year old drama queen. Funny stuff.
3. It's that time of year again...time to make resolutions! I hate resolutions. Loathe them, actually. However, this year I'm making a very important one. As most of you know I've been doing my clinicals in the critical care unit. Most of the patients I take care of have been smokers. To see the effects of smoking first hand is terrifying. I've always known smoking was bad for you, but to actually see the damage it does to a person has shaken me to the core. I have a beautiful son that is my world and I want to be around to enjoy my grandchildren. So, my resolution is to stop smoking. I'm terrified and nervous and pray every day that I will be strong enough to succeed. But lucky for you it should make for a lot of interesting blog fodder :)
So what are some of you resolutions? Hopefully we can encourage eachother!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Big daddy and baby boy are sick. Tis the season I guess. And that usually happens when you get snow one day, and 78 degree weather the next. Gotta love Texas!
Last weekend we took baby boy to the hockey game. He loves watching sports and he's only three. He is definitely going to be a sports fanatic like his daddy. One thing he does not love is taking pictures.
At least he's looking in the direction of the camera this time....
BD has this theory that I'm a complete bad luck charm. He won't even let me gamble near him when we go to Vegas because he always starts losing. He sends me over to the penny slots in the corner of the casino with the rest of the derelicts. The one time I was left to my own devices I thought, "I'll show his ass and win lots of money at the craps table!" I lost $240 in 10 minutes and wasn't allowed to have any more money for the rest of the trip.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
And look, the snow actually stuck to the ground!
He kept eating it. He said it tasted like "cold icee cubes."
Our snowman. We made his eyes out of skittles and his nose was a toothpick because us southern folks aren't equipped for snowman construction like you northerners.
Everyone seems to be in a good mood today. It's amazing what a little snow in Texas can do!
PS - There were about 100 wrecks on the freeways this morning. No big surprise there.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The first sign of my trouble was about an hour or so after I had given birth to baby boy. I wanted to take a shower and stood up and felt something running down my leg. I looked down and realized it was pee. Nice. I looked at the nurse and said, "um, I'm peeing on myself and pretty much can't stop it." That is not a good feeling my friends. Of course it got progressively better once I was all healed up from having my vag blown out by that angelic little creature.
Ah, but did it go away? Negative. Now the pee sneaks out when I least expect it. When I cough or sneeze. When I laugh too hard, which is hard to avoid with my childish sense of humor. It's pretty common for me to stop mid-laugh and say "SHIT!" and run off to the bathroom. One time I had the stomach flu. The only thing more humiliating than having your head in the toilet all day is pissing down your leg a little every time you wretch. Good times.
I finally made an appointment with the lady doctor to address this problem. She ran a bunch of test to check out my muscle strength down in that region. She made me do kegels with her fingers all up in me. That's totally not weird or humiliating. She agreed that if the kegels didn't work I'd probably need a bladder suspension. Surgery? No thanks. The only thing I'm suspending on my body is these behemoth boobs.
So, I've accepted my fate.....
Yes, I'm kidding. I'm going to have the surgery. Blah!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Anyhow, here is a conversation that actually took place in my bathroom this morning.
SPM - My hair is pissing me off! Look at it, just look! It's all flippy and curly and shit!
BD - That's normal, you're getting older.
SPM - WTF?
BD - You know, cuz women's hair gets curly as they get older.
SPM - ??? No it doesn't.
BD - Yes it does. Look at all these old ladies with really curly hair.
SPM - That's because they perm it you fucking retard.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Then two glasses became four, then the next thing I know I wake up in a ditch on the outskirts of Tijuana next to a dead donkey and I'm all what the fuck? I was just making dinner and hanging Christmas lights! It's the pinot grigio. It's bad, bad stuff!
Ok, that last part isn't true. Like I could have made it back from Tijuana already.
Maybe it's a southern thing. Southern girls like to drink. Case in point:
Most of the pictures bff and I have together we both have a death grip on a miller lite bottle. (With lime please, thanks.) Guess which one I am.
And another thing, which looking at the picture reminded me of. BFF and I wear the same thing all.the.fucking.time. And we work together so it makes for some awkward situations. We have worn the same outfit three times this week, and it's only Thursday. Here is an instant message conversation we had this morning:
BFF - ok, let's get this over with
BFF - what are you wearing
SPM - pink and black shirt
BFF - awesome
SPM - you?
BFF - black and white
SPM - awesome
SPM - I don't even own any black and white outfits so you're always safe wtih that
BFF - LOL
BFF - it's a white button down under a black sweater with black pants
SPM - mine is a white button down under a pink sweater
SPM - with black pants
BFF - awesome
BFF - so the only difference is the color of our sweater
SPM - yeah, uh huh
BFF - this has got to stop
Our over use of the word awesome is starting to get on my own nerves.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
2. I'm fucking psychic and it's starting to freak me out. Last week I dreamt every night of people dying and being at funerals. I told bff this past weekend about it and to not be surprised if someone we knows dies. When I came into work this morning there was an email that a co-worker of ours husband died the night after Thanksgiving. He was only 54 and died in his sleep. Freaky. The night my dad died I had a dream that my grandparents were on a plane and they were both sobbing, but I couldn't figure out why. A few hours later I got the call that my dad had died while they were all on vacation together. Ever since then it has freaked me the fuck out when I dream of people dying.
3. I figured out I can't get cell phone reception when I sit on the right side of my couch. The left side is fine. Seriously.
4. Last night BD and BB were playing in the living room while I was in the kitchen. BB is running around like a crazy person because they were eating ice cream. I hear screaming. BB tripped over the dog and fell into our fireplace. He got second degree burns on his arm. It was horrible. Everything I had learned about being a nurse dissappeared and I flew into frantic mom mode. Some of his skin was burned to the glass and BD had to clean it off :( We took him to the ER and got some burn cream and got him bandaged up. He was a trooper. This pic was taken with my cell phone so it's a shitty picture, but you get the point....