Thursday, December 4, 2008

Damn You, Pinot Grigio!

Hi, I'm an alcoholic and have no self control. I like wine, especially pinot grigio. My husband calls me a wino but he still buys it for me. I guess because he doesn't like drinking his keystones (aka-stonies) alone....ick. Any how, last night it all started with dinner. I wanted a glass of wine while I was cooking, which is totally normal and fine. Then big daddy started talking about a Christmas budget and so obviously I had to pour another glass because it was a very serious/hives inducing conversation.

Then two glasses became four, then the next thing I know I wake up in a ditch on the outskirts of Tijuana next to a dead donkey and I'm all what the fuck? I was just making dinner and hanging Christmas lights! It's the pinot grigio. It's bad, bad stuff!

Ok, that last part isn't true. Like I could have made it back from Tijuana already.

Maybe it's a southern thing. Southern girls like to drink. Case in point:

Most of the pictures bff and I have together we both have a death grip on a miller lite bottle. (With lime please, thanks.) Guess which one I am.

And another thing, which looking at the picture reminded me of. BFF and I wear the same thing all.the.fucking.time. And we work together so it makes for some awkward situations. We have worn the same outfit three times this week, and it's only Thursday. Here is an instant message conversation we had this morning:

BFF - ok, let's get this over with
BFF - what are you wearing
SPM - pink and black shirt
BFF - awesome
SPM - you?
BFF - black and white
SPM - awesome
SPM - I don't even own any black and white outfits so you're always safe wtih that
BFF - it's a white button down under a black sweater with black pants
SPM - mine is a white button down under a pink sweater
SPM - with black pants
BFF - awesome
BFF - so the only difference is the color of our sweater
SPM - yeah, uh huh
BFF - this has got to stop

Our over use of the word awesome is starting to get on my own nerves.


calicobebop said...

Winos Unite! I'm a chardonnay fan myself... Also, I use the word "awesome" entirely too much myself. It's my go-to word. It's my crutch. It's... Awesome!

I promise, I haven't been drinking already - just on a morning sugar high.

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

i enjoy drinking BEFORE dinner, too. is that so wrong?

dude, the tijuana and dead donkey thing made me spit out my water! people are starting to hover in my cube. must...minimize...window...

you're totally the one on the far left.

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

oh, and i meant to LMFAO at the overuse of the word awesome. my friends and i do that too. ANNOYING indeed. but still funny as fuck...

Erin Jeannine said...

I see no problem with awesome. I'm think I'm going to bring back "gnarly" too. And your Tijuana story could totally happen to me. I heart Pinot Grigio...and TJ is only a couple hours from me.

Sassy Pants said...

MoFM - Nope, I'm second from left. The one on the left is BFF :)

Crystal said...

i can't stop staring at your boobs.

Crystal said...

does that make me gay?

Sassy Pants said...

Totally. But you have huge knockers too, so just stare in the mirror.

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

DUDE, you're a brunette! oh well, i tried. ;)

all of you are HAWT.