Friday, April 3, 2009

The Most Un-Romantic Way to Procreate

As you know by now big daddy and I are on the C team of reproduction. It took two years and lots (and lots and lots) of money to get pregnant with baby boy. I actually considered naming him Cash. So here we are, several years later. No baby number two in sight. Lots (and lots and lots) of money basically flushed down the toilet trying to give baby boy a sibling. We are in the midst of our last hoo-rah, if you will. This is the last cycle we are going to throw cash at the fertility doctor.

We had a bit of luck with this cycle. The dr asked if we would like to be in a study. After he explained that study = save a shit-ton of money, we enthusiastically agreed. I left the office with $6,000 worth of fertility drugs in a bag, praying to God I wouldn't get robbed by a crazy infertile that had been staking the clinic out.

I've been giving myself shots in the belly for 7 days now. Tonight I start the study drug, so that means I'll get two shots in the belly every night. BD was doing it but I finally worked up the nerve to do it myself. And frankly, it hurts a hell of a lot less when I do it. He held the needle like it was the shower scene in Psycho. Side note - I hope the study drug doesn't make me grow a third boob or something.

I go every couple of days for an ultrasound and bloodwork - at $300 a pop. My left ovary is producing some nice follicles, whereas my right ovary is just plain fucking lazy. (I don't even know why I give that bitch a place to stay anymore.) When my follicles get big enough I will take yet another shot to make me ovulate, and then we will do intra-uterine insemination with BD's best swimmers. He doesn't even have to be present when the doctor knocks me up. He romances the cup, I keep it warm in my cleavage until I get to the office, and then the doctor inseminates me. Your totally jealous aren't you?

So send me some good positive we-totally-hope-the-dr-gets-you-pregnant thoughts!!


Tova Darling said...

Good luck!!!!

Nichole said...

I just laughed so hard I woke the baby up!! I hope you get knocked up!!!

Jonni said...

Good Luck with all of this!!! But to make it better....the nurses will probably knock you up :-) Neither S nor the doc came near me...I should have named P "Amanda Christine" after my nurses :-)


Stacie's Madness said...


Candice said...

That's sort of like a pearl necklace, but way less messy. I'd say that's the way to go!

Best of luck to you!

Erin Jeannine said...

I don't understand; this all sounds extremely sexy to me.

Erin Jeannine said...

And GOOD LUCK! I am sending good baby oobies your way.