Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Just Call Me Princess Space Cadet

I've never really been known for my common sense. I'm extremely book smart, but not so much with the common smarts. BFF and I were in drill team in high school, and at the end of camp our director passed out these made up awards like best smile, best high kick, biggest whore. Okay, I made that last one up. So what was my award you ask? Space Cadet... as in my head is always in the clouds. Nice. But I must admit, I earned that award.


Example numero uno - our junior year we were getting ready for our upcoming homecoming. I always made sure to arrange transportation before hand so I wasn't stranded at the game. So in casual conversation at lunch, surrounded by my closest friends, I asked what seemed to be a perfectly logical question. "Where is the homecoming game going to be?" Blank stares. "I need to figure out if I'm going to drive or not, is it here or away?" Blank stares followed by hysterical laughter. BFF stops laughing long enough to say "I'm pretty sure the HOMECOMING game is going to be at HOME this year." I was so embarrassed and have yet to live that down, 11 years later. At the pep rally one of the guys got on the microphone and said "Sassy Pants, I just wanted to remind you that our game is at HOME tonight." Awesome.

Example #2 - My senior year of high school my dad checked my oil and told me I needed to put a couple of quarts in my car because it was low. No problem. I go down to Auto Zone, buy my little quarts of oil, and head back to my house. I pop open the hood, and pull the dipstick out, just as I had seen my dad do earlier that day. Then I see a slight problem. The hole I just pulled the dipstick out of isn't very big at all. How the hell am I supposed to get this oil in there? There must be some kind of special funnel. After searching for this tiny funnel I go to my mom for help. Here's the best part. My mom helped me fashion a tiny funnel to get the oil into the dipstick hole. We later found out when my dad got home and heard about our troubles, that the much larger hole, with a cap on it that says OIL is actually where the oil is supposed to go.

Example #3 - This is my most recent space cadet moment. BFF's daughter had her sixth birthday party this weekend. We get to their house and I set our gift on the table. I picked out a really cute pink and green flowery bag from target. As I'm setting the gift down, I notice someone else has the same bag. I looked at her and said, "looks like we both went to target, hope we didn't get the same thing!" Fast forward a couple of hours to gift opening time. The children are sitting on the floor anxiously awaiting the opening of each gift. Then she gets to the pink and green flowery bag and starts opening. Plaid shorts..."crap" I whispered...white t-shirt..."you have got to be kidding me"....hannah montana shirt...."COME ON, I can't believe we got the exact same gift!" BFF finally looks at me and says in a very calm voice, "this is your gift." And so the legacy continues.

7 comments:

Candice said...

I once asked a hot waiter at a very nice restaurant "How many shrimp are in a half dozen?"

We, my friend, are cut from the same cloth.

Nichole said...

hahahaha! DH still makes fun of me for my flightyness from when I was pregnant. It seems to have carried over beyond pregnancy - DH likes to respond to my stupidity by asking if I'm still hitting the pregnancy bong.

calicobebop said...

Girl, you are not alone. I remember going to get gas one time several years ago and telling the clerk that he forgot to add tax to my gas purchase. And I had been driving for like TEN YEARS without ever noticing that little fact. He thought I was high. I might have been.

Shana said...

You are funny!!!!
Thanks for sharing

Samsmama said...

That was too funny! Example #3 killed me. And I laughed out loud at "biggest whore" award!

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

i love you space cadet types! the best thing about you is that you almost expect to be made fun of and you take it so well. well, at least my sister does. she's a bit of a space cadet and we love to pick on her for it...

although, i think with every kid i pop out, i get more space cadet-ey. the other day, i walked away from my desk on my way to the elevators at work with my purse on my shoulder and my keys in my hand and said, "OH! i guess i need my purse!" and then i felt it on my shoulder. i looked like an idiot in front our single-digit-IQ-having receptionist.

good times.

also, the "i can't believe we got the same gift!" made me LOL.

Amber D. said...

Honestly, being there for most of these incidents made this post THAT MUCH funnier. I love how 11 years later I'll still ask you where homecoming is and you'll get the blank stare for a millisecond before you realize I'm joking...