Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Sign #17 that you may need to re-assess your parenting skillz

Last Saturday BD and I were upstairs getting ready to go to the rodeo. BB was downstairs eating his cereal. This is a pretty normal occurance in our house, and he can usually be trusted to be downstairs by himself. Usually.

Just as we were finishing getting dressed, BB appears at the top of the stairs wearing nothing but his pajama top. "Where are your pants?" I asked him. "I took them off! I'm ready to get dressed!" he shrieked. So I herded him into his bedroom to get dressed when I noticed something on his butt. It was brown. Do you know where I'm going from here?

"Did you poop in your pull-up BB?"

"No I did NOT poop in my pull-up mom!"

"Then why do you have poop on your butt?"

"Because I went poopie outside."

"You wha? Outside? Like a dog?!"

He smiled proudly at me and nodded his head. So I cleaned him up and marched downstairs and out the back door and sure as shit (pun intended) there it was. A little pile of boy turds two inches from my patio. I guess he squatted on the patio to give himself leverage. Who even thinks of pooping outside? Where does he come up with this stuff?

9 comments:

calicobebop said...

I'm in tears! He pooped OUTSIDE! How awesome is that? You can not make this shit up. (Pun intended)

Samsmama said...

So he's housebroken? That is just way too funny!

Candice said...

Now you can stop using the does a bear shit in the woods line. Just replace it with does a 3 yr old shit on the patio?

Why yes, yes he does.

Amber D. said...

Your own damn fault for leaving him unattended. I would NEVER do that.

Oh, wait... our kids were kissing last time I came over because we left them unattended. Sorry, I'm the pot and you're the kettle.

Pearl said...

OMG, that is too funny!! There has got to be a silver lining here somewhere... like at least he didnt choose the pantry??!!?!

Cary said...

I've wanted to do that myself, but didn't have the guts.

Go, kid.

Cookie Crums said...

Hilarious!! At least he's housebroken.... now just gotta work on the toilet part.

I'm so looking forward to these days when my little one is old enough for funny things.

Mary said...

why do boys think these things are so reasonable? Once we were at a hockey game and my youngest had to go- I could tell- so I said, 'come on Max, let's go potty.' To which he announced loud enough for a lot of people to hear, "I don't want o miss the game! I'll just poop in my pants."
Nice.

Aubrey said...

LOL
Oh! I'm thrilled to hear this! I'm not alone! My little one just did this the other day. He learned it from his buddy, our pug. Good times.