It's been almost a month since I did a blog update. That is unacceptable! You know, it's the same old story. Work, nursing school, family. I've been so frazzled lately. Plus ever since last week it's been a little tense in the Sassy Pants household. Let me explain....
Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a pretty awesome wife. No, I'm a badass wife that any guy would be lucky to have. (toot toot!) And that badassedness has been taken advantage of recently. You see, big daddy gets to pretty much do whatever he wants. If he wants to go play pool with his friends, or go to a bar, I let him and don't give him any grief. All I ask in return is a little peace and quiet when I need to study, and that he comes home after the bar closes. Well, Friday night he must have gotten brain damage and somehow forgotten the latter of those two rules.
He went to play pool with a friend, and I had clinicals the next day, so baby boy and I hit the sack around 9ish. I woke up to pee at 3:30 and he wasn't home. Somehow I fell back asleep, and woke up again at 4am. He still wasn't home. Panic ensues because I think to myself that surely, SURELY he would not purposely stay out this late. There must have been a horrendous accident. I'm texting every one of his friends to see if they've seen him. I texted him. I'm in full on panic mode by this point. As I'm picking up the phone to call the hospital that is near our house, I get a text saying "I'm sorry, I'm 5 minutes away". I saw red. Smoke was coming out of my ears. My hands were shaking but I managed to text back "YOU BETTER BE MOTHER FUCKER!!"
I'm waiting on the bottom of our stairs. He walks up to the door and every so quietly unlocks it. He's sneaking in like a fucking ninja, having no idea what kind of wrath was about to be unleashed on him. He looked up, saw me on the step with my hands on my hips, and froze right there. I was so mad that I couldn't even form a sentence. I was sputtering expletives at him and then I finally managed a "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!" And this is where it gets good folks.
You see, big daddy's best friend is single and always trying to pick up ladies. Apparently he found one he liked at the bar. She also happened to be with two other friends. So what do the dumbasses do? Invite them over to his house to go swimming. Seriously. These were the words coming out of my husbands mouth. The mad that I was before compared to the mad I was after this story, would be the difference between a firecracker and Hiroshima. I'm pretty sure I busted a vein in my forehead. I actually had to restrain myself from hitting him. And do you know what that asshole had the nerve to say to me? "But I found us a babysitter!" And then I stabbed him 75 times. Not really, but that's totally what was happening in my head.
So fast forward to today. I still haven't had a normal conversation with him. He swears nothing happened and he "was just there for his friend". I've been going back and forth about what to do. If I let him get away with this he will think it's okay. If you haven't figured it out by now, men are like children. They need to be punished.
So I'm asking you, doogs. What would you do if this was your husband? I really, really want to know because right now I'm at a loss.