Big daddy went out with a friend on Saturday and I stayed home with baby boy. Because I'm a cool wife and I like spending quality time with the baby. We watched Madagascar 2 and ate popcorn and played monster trucks for a while. It was awesome. We went to bed around 10 and were sleeping peacefully, until BD got home. It was obvious he was a little inebriated because I could smell his dragon breath from across the room.
He climbed in bed with the finesse of an elephant and was out in about two seconds. About an hour later I'm jarred awake by stuff falling off of my nightstand. I pop up and see BD with one knee on my night stand and one hand bracing himself on the wall. "What the fuck are you doing?!" I said in a yell-whisper so as not to wake the baby. "I'm just looking for something." Yeah, okay, get your drunk ass back in bed.
So he walks over to the bathroom, slamming his knee into the corner of the foot of the bed and stepping on the dogs head along the way. So now pretty much every living thing in our house is annoyed with him. He was in the bathroom for about 5 minutes, with the light off, by the way. Then he walks back into the bedroom and over to the window. He pulled the drapes back and started lifting up the blinds. Not by the blind lifty cord, by the bottom of the blinds. "WHAT.THE.FUCK.ARE.YOU.DOING???" My yell whisper was getting louder at this point. "I have to pee." "The bathroom is that way dumbass!" So he closes the drapes, walks back over to the bathroom, locates the toilet and does his business. He made his way back to the bed and didn't cause any more commotion for the rest of the night. Of course he had no recollection of the nights happenings the next morning.