And that's how it happened

So, I know you've all been patiently waiting by your computers to hear the sad tale of how I landed my first nursing job. (Psh, who am I kidding? I clearly lost all my followers during my 6 month haiatus) I digress....

I saw an ad in the paper for a job fair at one of the amazing hospitals near my home. I wanted to work there from the time I was in nursing school. I was due to return back to satan's lair from maternity leave and this was pretty much my last ditch effort to get a job in my field. It had been 9 looong months of looking and I was ready to give up and resign myself to being an overeducated office peon for the rest of my life.

So I get my little resume and go to the job fair. I sit and wait patiently while covertly scrutinizing the competition. Finally my name was called. She asked to see my resume. She looks over it, nodding her head and pursing her lips like she just ate a lemon from the garbage.

I'm teetering nervously on the edge of my seat hoping beyond hope that she's impressed. She looks up and fans my resume at me and says "You have no experience." It was a statement, not a question.

So I begin to explain how no, I don't have experience because I can't find a motherfucking job. Maybe not in so many words. She then proceeds to give me the whole "you should apply for an internship" bullshit. Let me just tell you about internships. There are like 2 spots per hospital per year. I've applied to like a bajillion internships. They are pretty much impossible to get.

Lemon face got up from her seat and moved on to her next victim, effectively dismissing me.

I, being the emotional bitch that I am, go to the bathroom and cry for a good ten minutes. I cry for all the hard work I did, I cry for all the money I spent, and I cry because I'm starting to realize that hospitals are just like corporate america.

I clean my face up as best I can and open the door and literally run into a woman. She puts her arm around me and asks if I'm okay. I ask her if it's true that I will never get a job unless I get one of the coveted internships. I'm trying to hold snot and tears at back during this whole schpiel.

She purses her lips and thinks for a minute. (What is with all the fucking lip pursing around this place?) She quietly whispers back and forth with another lip purser in the corner, comes back and says she'd like to interview me.

Then I charmed the pants off of her and the rest is history. Moral of the story....don't think I'm ever above crying to get a job.