And that's how it happened

So, I know you've all been patiently waiting by your computers to hear the sad tale of how I landed my first nursing job. (Psh, who am I kidding? I clearly lost all my followers during my 6 month haiatus) I digress....

I saw an ad in the paper for a job fair at one of the amazing hospitals near my home. I wanted to work there from the time I was in nursing school. I was due to return back to satan's lair from maternity leave and this was pretty much my last ditch effort to get a job in my field. It had been 9 looong months of looking and I was ready to give up and resign myself to being an overeducated office peon for the rest of my life.

So I get my little resume and go to the job fair. I sit and wait patiently while covertly scrutinizing the competition. Finally my name was called. She asked to see my resume. She looks over it, nodding her head and pursing her lips like she just ate a lemon from the garbage.

I'm teetering nervously on the edge of my seat hoping beyond hope that she's impressed. She looks up and fans my resume at me and says "You have no experience." It was a statement, not a question.

So I begin to explain how no, I don't have experience because I can't find a motherfucking job. Maybe not in so many words. She then proceeds to give me the whole "you should apply for an internship" bullshit. Let me just tell you about internships. There are like 2 spots per hospital per year. I've applied to like a bajillion internships. They are pretty much impossible to get.

Lemon face got up from her seat and moved on to her next victim, effectively dismissing me.

I, being the emotional bitch that I am, go to the bathroom and cry for a good ten minutes. I cry for all the hard work I did, I cry for all the money I spent, and I cry because I'm starting to realize that hospitals are just like corporate america.

I clean my face up as best I can and open the door and literally run into a woman. She puts her arm around me and asks if I'm okay. I ask her if it's true that I will never get a job unless I get one of the coveted internships. I'm trying to hold snot and tears at back during this whole schpiel.

She purses her lips and thinks for a minute. (What is with all the fucking lip pursing around this place?) She quietly whispers back and forth with another lip purser in the corner, comes back and says she'd like to interview me.

Then I charmed the pants off of her and the rest is history. Moral of the story....don't think I'm ever above crying to get a job.

So apparently I'm a big fat liar.

Okay, so I know I promised all of you that I would not stay gone for another 6 months. Apparently I'm a liar. I wouldn't trust anything I say.

What has kept me away from you guys, you ask? Well why don't I show you?

Isn't the the cutest smooshiest faced baby you've ever seen? (Except for your own, of course.) Yes, he was born. Yes he is amazing. Yes my chach still hurts when I think about pushing that 9 pounds of precious out.

You know what I forgot though? How much babies suck ass the first couple of months. Hellloooo post partum depression! Nice to see you again, it had been 5 long years! Glad your ass is gone now too.

Seriously, it was like at the three month mark he became a different child. Now he's actually pretty fun. He even smiles at me. **cue melting heart**.

I also got a job as a nurse! FINALLY. OMG that whole "you'll have a job by the time you graduate" was bullshit. It took me nine very long months to find one. And the way I landed a job is actually pretty hysterical and/or extremely embarrassing. However you want to look at it. That is a story for another day. I promise I will tell soon though.

Just wanted to write a quick post to let you guys know....I'M BACK BITCHES!!!