Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Houston Driving is Going to Kill Me

Will the texas department of public safety give ANYONE a drivers license these days? My commute to work is like Houston's version of the Indy500. I don't see that much multi-tasking going on in my office!

I live 8 miles from my job. 8! How long does it take me to get to work? 45 effing minutes. Ridonculous. I fear for my life every morning as I merge onto the road along with 4 million other people trying to get to work as fast as possible.

We've got the chick in the bmw who can't possible get up 10 minutes early to do her makeup at home. Why do it at home when your car is a perfectly acceptable place to do your liquid eyeliner?? I missed a green light this morning because this dumbass was elbow deep in mascara and eyeshadow.

Then we've got the homeless people who practically swarm your car looking for money. To buy what I assume is a 40 judging by the littering of paper bags around their "bed" under the overpass. If I hit one someday I am not stopping. Just sayin'.

Then we've got the construction. I think it's an inside joke the city has with contractors. Let's see how long we can possibly drag this tiny little project out for. Then we can move the cones around every night so it's complete and utter chaos every morning! Then we can have the construction workers make lude and vile gestures at the poor women just trying to get to work! I won't even go into that because I shudder every time I think about it.

And last, but certainly not least, we have the foreigners. You people know what I'm talking about. The ones who cut across four lanes of traffic to exit the freeway. One yesterday had his blinker on to get in the turning lane. No one let him in so he just sat there, with 70mph traffic whizzing by. Completely stopped, with traffic in that lane either swerving to miss him, or burning rubber trying to stop behind him.

It's days like these that I thank God I live in the 'burbs. I wouldn't make it in the city!

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